


Pieces

by ForForever19



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Jelly Beans, Skank Quinn Fabray
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25453369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForForever19/pseuds/ForForever19
Summary: 'It's odd, being someone's girlfriend. Quinn is notorious for being a terrible one.'
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 15
Kudos: 388





	Pieces

**Disclaimer** : I, by no means, claim to own anything remotely related to the Glee Universe. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

**AN** : This piece was borne of a strange dream I had where jelly beans are, apparently, the balm to the soul. Just out of curiosity, what's _your_ favourite flavour?

* * *

**Pieces**

* * *

It's odd, being someone's girlfriend.

Quinn is notorious for being a terrible one, almost too blasé to be emotionally invested enough to be considered for long term coupling. She doesn't have much in her life to compare it to, so she just goes by what feels right, and she's just not that great at it.

She has references, of course. A list of boys and girls who can attest to Quinn Fabray just not being good at the whole girlfriend thing. It just is, and Quinn has come to accept it as much as everyone else.

She dated Hannah first, when she first arrived in Lima at the beginning of her junior year, and she definitely wanted more than Quinn could offer. Then there was Sofia, who was fun to be around and understood Quinn's shortcomings, but she transferred out. Beatrice was kind, but a lot demanding. Danai was almost too hot to handle. Janice was almost as untameable as Quinn, and Kelly -

Kelly almost sticks, given they're actually friends. When they decide to 'date' at the start of their senior year, it's out of convenience, the two of them figuring they'll just go to Homecoming together and have a good time and see what happens.

Then Finn Hudson dies, and everything changes.

* * *

Quinn really doesn't know how it happens, but she ends up in the principal's office for something or the other - okay, so she definitely might have done something to warrant it, but that's neither here nor there - and the stars somehow align that Quinn is made responsible for the emotional well-being of one Rachel Berry, a.k.a. Finn's Shadow.

Now, Quinn and Rachel aren't exactly unfriendly towards each other, but Quinn wouldn't go so far as to call her a friend. They just move in different circles, have vastly different interests, and Quinn tries to explain that all to Principal Figgins, but he's kind of an idiot, and now Quinn is tasked with making sure Rachel doesn't completely lose it under the weight of her obvious grief.

It's a tall ask, given the girl looks halfway to breaking down every second of the day. Her eyes are constantly red, cheeks puffy and bottom lip trembling. She looks as if she hasn't slept in days, merely a remnant of her former self, and Quinn understands why their teachers are worried.

And, of course, Quinn feels for her. As far as Quinn knows, the girl was maybe dating the boy, and she can't imagine what that must be like. She knew Finn only in passing, but she can already feel the loss of his presence in the school corridors: the ease of his smiles and the mop of his hair, standing above them all. It's not something she's allowing herself to think about too much, in fear of what that might do to her.

She already knows enough loss.

Still, Quinn really doesn't want to have to deal with an inconsolable Rachel Berry on a daily basis, and she says as much to the girl when they leave the principal's office together, both of them a lot confused by their principal's unexpected instruction.

"I know," Rachel says, shoulders slumped in something like defeat. "You can not, and we'll just say you did."

Quinn nods, already agreeing, relieved they're on the same page about this.

"It's not your problem, anyway," Rachel continues, wiping her eyes of her most recent set of tears - the reason she was brought to the principal's office in the first place. "You have your own friends, and I have mine. I can handle myself."

Quinn studies her closely, peering at her as if she's some foreign entity. "You're a mess, aren't you?"

Rachel glares at her, tears practically evaporating in her indignation. "My best friend just _died_ ," she says hotly. "I'm sorry if I'm not handling it so well."

Quinn steps back in surprise, internally sighing at how she's already managed to screw this up. "No, I just mean that you're _really_ not okay," she says. "And there's nothing wrong with that."

Rachel shakes her head, sighing heavily. "I haven't been able to stop crying," she confesses quietly. "I don't even know why."

"You miss him," Quinn points out.

"When I'm not so fucking angry with him," Rachel comments, though her tone holds no bite.

Quinn doesn't know much of anything about what happened to him, but even she isn't so insensitive to ask. She might not be good emotional support, but she knows etiquette. Her upbringing has taught her at least that much.

Rachel wipes at her eyes again. "We should get to class," she says, dismissive. "I have English."

"Chemistry," Quinn returns.

Rachel manages a small smile. "See you around, Quinn," she says, and then walks off, leaving Quinn to watch after her and wonder if she could have done something more.

* * *

Quinn doesn't think about it again until she absolutely has to.

It's just the morning after, when she's casually leaning against her locker and chatting to Kelly about nothing remotely important that Principal Figgins spots her and makes his way over.

"Miss Woods, Miss Fabray," he greets them. "How is Miss Berry today?"

And, Quinn doesn't actually have a response. She spied Rachel earlier, but she didn't have time to talk to her, which she doesn't think she would have done, even if she had. What would she even say? "Um."

Principal Figgins clicks his tongue. "Now, now, Miss Fabray, I asked you to keep an eye on her," he says. "This is a very tough time for her, and it's important she has someone to turn to."

Quinn blinks, because surely she's not qualified for any of this. There are actual professionals who have trained for that. "Of course, Sir," she says, anyway. "I'll go and check on her right now."

Principal Figgins claps her shoulder, hard, and then continues on his way, leaving Quinn to address Kelly's curious expression.

"What's that about?" she asks.

Quinn exaggerates a sigh. "I have to check on Rachel Berry, apparently," she explains. "Part of my punishment for the whole ditching thing is to make sure she's doing okay, given everything that's happened."

"You're kidding," Kelly says, eyes a little wide with disbelief. "Figgins asked _you_ \- Quinn Fabray, who is practically allergic to emotional support - to look out for Rachel Berry?"

"Hey," she complains. "I'm not terrible."

"Quinn, you didn't even text Beatrice when her grandmother died."

Quinn winces, because that definitely wasn't her proudest moment. She made up for it with flowers and kisses later, but it was an eye-opener for them both going forward and they barely lasted two weeks more.

"This is why you stay in school, kids," Kelly teases her. "Or you end up with an actual girlfriend."

Quinn pretends to laugh, because it's really not that funny. Rachel is hurting, sure, but she definitely shouldn't be Quinn's responsibility. She's just going to end up messing up, and that's just going to end up hurting her even more.

Kelly seems to pick up on her mood, because she pats her forearm and kisses her cheek. "Don't worry too much," she says. "Just check in from time to time, and it should be fine." Her mouth spreads into a grin. "Basically how you were with Danai."

Quinn gently shoves her away, forcing herself not to smile at just how proud of herself Kelly looks. "You're the worst," she comments, and then resolves to do at least what Kelly suggests.

Still, she knows Kelly's teasing has stuck, when she finally goes to find Rachel, and Kelly calls out, "Say hi to your girlfriend for me," to her retreating back.

* * *

And, so, it becomes a thing.

Kelly loves it, making sure their group of friends also start teasing her about the girlfriend she seems to have gained from being a delinquent. Kelly has to explain it in little detail to The Mack and Stella, Jade barely paying attention to anything other than her phone - well, her boyfriend in her phone.

Quinn just sits and takes it, less sensitive than she might have been several years ago.

Another Quinn, in a different city and a different life.

Because, if she looks at it objectively, it _is_ kind of funny, she can admit, but it gets a little awkward when the 'joke' starts getting some traction and people actually start to believe it as truth.

Even Rachel makes a comment on it when Quinn checks in with her after the last lesson of the day, Quinn wanting nothing more than to escape these corridors. "Did you ask me out and I just didn't realise?" she asks, looking a little amused.

Quinn won't admit that it feels good to see her smile. "Sorry about that," she says. "Just Kelly being a little shit."

Rachel regards her carefully. "That's good," she says; "because you're not my type."

And, Quinn definitely shouldn't feel as affronted as she does. "I'm everyone's type," she counters. "Even if you're not into girls."

Rachel meets her gaze. "What makes you think I'm not?"

The fact Quinn holds onto her urge to sputter is a near miracle, because that is the last thing she ever expected Rachel to say. "Oh?" Quinn squeaks out, flushing under Rachel's stare.

Rachel just rolls her eyes and pats Quinn's cheek like she's a child. "So… just making sure we're not actually dating, right?"

It takes Quinn a moment to get back to herself, and she has just enough sense to say, "You should be so lucky," in the cocky tone she's known for.

Rachel squeezes her shoulder for a moment, says, "Would I?" rather cryptically, and then walks off, leaving Quinn to watch after her and continue wondering if there's something she's just not doing right.

* * *

The joke, as much as Quinn convinces herself it bothers her, doesn't go away.

Kelly thinks it's hilarious - particularly whenever Principal Figgins makes a point of checking in with Quinn - and their other friends settle into the long-game joke with a vengeance.

It's probably because Quinn is notoriously bad at being a girlfriend, and the idea that she's somewhat responsible for the emotional care of another human being without all the physical benefits of a relationship is overly amusing for her supposed friends.

Quinn's reactions probably don't help either. It's obvious the joke gets to her, but even she wouldn't be able to tell them exactly why. It's rooted in something deeper than just being perceived as uncaring towards her significant other, and she's not sure she's willing to unpack that with people who find her emotional stunting humorous.

They've never quite considered the reasons behind why.

* * *

It goes on for the rest of the week, and Quinn deludes herself into thinking it'll be old news by the time Monday arrives, but some kid finds her early Monday morning and says, "Rachel is crying in the bathroom," and Quinn almost asks him why in God's name he's telling her, until he adds, "Just thought her girlfriend should know."

Quinn groans to herself, slams her locker shut, and then stalks to whatever bathroom he indicates to. She's visibly annoyed, because she has plans to meet Kelly - and, hopefully, _finally_ make out - so she opens the door rather roughly, ready with some kind of rebuke… only for her words to die on her lips.

Quinn expected some kind of emotional breakdown, but she finds something resembling a red, wet rat instead. It is honestly the saddest thing Quinn has ever seen. Rachel looks miserable, standing there in her drenched clothing and just staring at herself in the mirror, probably contemplating her life as a whole.

Quinn wishes, wishes none of this was happening.

Rachel just sighs when she sees Quinn isn't making a move to leave or even saying anything. "We match," she eventually says, reaching for something in a tote bag sitting on the counter beside one of the sinks.

"Mine is on purpose," Quinn forces herself to say, finding her voice. "I thought they stopped doing this shit to you."

Rachel shrugs. "I'm used to it."

"That's bullshit," Quinn says, stepping forward. "Nobody can get used to having a fucking Big Gulp thrown at their face."

She just shrugs again, and Quinn doesn't know whether she wants to throttle or hug her. "It - it hasn't happened in a while," she admits quietly, finally removing a towel from the bag and sort of just staring at it. "But, now that Finn's... gone..." She stops and sighs. "I guess he was the only reason they were leaving me al - " Her shoulders slump. "It doesn't even matter."

Quinn steps closer still, unsure what to say or do. She's not good at this kind of thing. She thinks offering comfort is something to be learned, and she's missed out on those lessons in her seventeen years on Earth. So, instead of fumbling through what could become disastrous, she simply asks, "What can I do?"

Rachel looks at her, long and searching, and doesn't even end up answering the question. "Why are you even here?" she asks instead. "How did you know where to find me?"

"Someone told me," Quinn says, truthfully.

Rachel's brow furrows. "Why?"

Quinn manages a small smile. "You're my girlfriend, remember?"

Rachel's frown deepens for a beat, and then she shakes her head. "Do people _seriously_ believe that?" she asks, opening the faucet and cupping some water in her hands to rinse her face and strands of hair.

"I'm going to pretend you don't sound so disgusted by the idea," Quinn says coolly, oddly hurt at how dismissive Rachel sounds at the idea of them dating. She doesn't even care.

She doesn't.

Rachel laughs, but it doesn't sound kind to either of their ears. "Be serious, Quinn," she says. "What would someone like you be doing with someone like me?"

"Someone like you?" Quinn asks, moving to the right to retrieve some paper towels from the dispenser. "Someone like me? What does that even mean?"

"We have nothing in common."

"That is an assumption based on what, exactly?" Quinn questions, unable to figure out why it's bothering her so much. "Two conversations?"

Rachel ignores her in favour of washing out slushy from her hair.

Quinn wants to say more, but she's not supposed to care. She's not. It shouldn't matter that Rachel is so appalled at the idea of them dating... and not because Quinn is a girl. It doesn't matter. At all. Because Quinn doesn't care.

Quinn feels her phone vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans and she immediately fishes for it, seeing that it's Kelly looking for her.

"Do you need to go?" Rachel asks her, and Quinn forces her eyes upward, not having realised Rachel was even looking at her.

Quinn finds herself shaking her head before she can stop herself. "Just my mom," she lies. "Making sure I don't bunk again."

"Is that how you got stuck on Rachel Berry duty?"

Quinn pockets her phone and hands Rachel the paper towels, quietly offering up more than just herself. "Don't you know I volunteered?" she asks with a wink.

Rachel rolls her eyes, and Quinn will take the slight upturn of her red mouth as a victory.

* * *

Later, when Kelly asks her where she was, Quinn doesn't mention Rachel. She's a little sick of the ongoing joke, and she doesn't want the interaction tainted by making some kind of spectacle of the fact Rachel still gets slushied.

If Quinn goes out of her way to scare the shit out of a pair of Juniors on the football team... well, nobody has to know.

* * *

"As your girlfriend, it's my sworn duty to tell you that sweater is atrocious."

Rachel glares at Quinn for a moment, and then laughs softly. "That's not very nice, Quinn," she says, a little primly. "I happen to like this sweater."

"Whether you like it or not doesn't change the fact it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen," Quinn informs her.

Rachel removes a textbook from her locker, eyes glancing at Quinn, who is leaning against the lockers and watching her. "What are you doing here, anyway? I'm pretty sure your friends are... somewhere else."

Quinn doesn't immediately respond, trying to figure out if Rachel is actually trying to get rid of her. Quinn can never quite tell, because Rachel acts as if Quinn bothers her with the check-ins, but she also makes a point to talk to her.

Which is confusing.

Anyway.

"I'm trying not to be a delinquent," Quinn eventually tells her.

"You're not a delinquent," Rachel counters. "You just... attend classes sparingly."

Quinn grins at her. "There's no need to sugarcoat it, Sweetheart."

"Don't call me that."

Quinn's smile grows. "Babe. Honey. Sweetie Pie. Cutie."

Rachel looks a little startled as she asks, "You think I'm cute?"

Quinn freezes, and then swallows. "Not in that sweater, I don't," she manages to say, which earns her a glare... that is oddly cute.

Huh.

* * *

"Question: where exactly does that colour fit on the spectrum?"

Rachel looks down at her skirt, frowning. "It's maroon."

"Ugh," Quinn says, pretending to gag. "Why does it exist? And why would you wear it?"

"You know, for a girlfriend, you're not very nice to me," Rachel says, eyes narrowed at Quinn, who is standing right in front of her and blocking her path into the cafeteria.

"You reflect on me, you know," Quinn counters.

"And, what, I don't look cute in this skirt?"

"Sweetie Pie," Quinn groans, and delights in the flaring of Rachel's nostrils at the sound of the pet name. "It is the ugliest colour imaginable. Didn't they have it in yellow? Even that would have been better."

Rachel's amusement evaporates. "Why yellow?" she asks, voice a little hard.

Quinn audibly swallows, wondering how she could have possibly put her foot in it now. Maybe she should just go back to insulting her skirt colour. "Uh, isn't yellow your favourite colour?"

Rachel tilts her head to the side, studying Quinn as if she's something foreign. "How do you even know that?"

Quinn blinks. "As your girlfriend, it's my job to know these things," she deflects, and then sighs. "I also pay attention," she adds, and then makes sure to be the one to walk away before Rachel can question her further.

She has no answers, either way.

* * *

Quinn doesn't mean for it to turn into a thing.

It's not - not really - but she kind of enjoys riling Rachel up and trying to get her to smile. She convinces herself she's just playing the part Principal Figgins asked of her, but even she has to accept there's something more to it.

Kelly's amusement has faded, though the lingering joke seems to have dampened whatever they were trying to start. Kelly accepted long ago that Quinn isn't girlfriend material, but Quinn doesn't know how to explain the fact she's grown flaky even in the friend department.

It's nobody's fault, not really, but Quinn settles into this role she's meant to play in Rachel's life far easier than anyone could have predicted, and it's best to leave all comments at the door.

Checking in with Rachel becomes part of her day. Quinn can't even explain how much she looks forward to annoying Rachel while she gathers her books in the morning, trying to convince her to hand over her number during lunch and then teasing her about ways she could get her to ditch that stupid Glee club when school lets out.

Rachel acts as if the time Quinn spends with her are the worst minutes of her life, and, honestly, Quinn can't tell if she's pretending or not.

* * *

It's on a Friday, when Quinn finds Rachel at her locker after the final bell of the day, that something changes. It's not really noticeable in the moment, but Rachel's decision to alter their new normal sets them on a new trajectory.

Quinn barely has to open her mouth to convince Rachel to skip Glee when the brunette says, "Get me out of here."

Quinn's surprise manifests as a double-take, but she gets it together rather quickly, her eyes registering the tightness around Rachel's mouth and the red of her eyes.

She's really not okay, and Quinn has somehow managed to convince herself Rachel has actually been doing well.

"Come on," Quinn says, stepping close and dropping the volume of her voice. "I know just the thing." She almost reaches out to touch Rachel, but the brunette just closes her locker - slamming it harder than is strictly necessary - and turns sharply, leading the way out of the main building.

Quinn dutifully follows.

* * *

Rachel raises her eyebrows when Quinn pulls into the parking lot of the skate park. Quinn just grins her as she turns off the car, oddly chuffed that she's somewhat managed to surprise Rachel.

"Are these your people?" Rachel asks, not making a move to get out of the car.

Quinn shrugs. "I don't have _people_ ," she says.

Rachel keeps her gaze on Quinn's face. "That's not true," she counters.

Quinn doesn't say anything in rebuttal. Rachel doesn't need to know her story. It isn't even that exciting - just sad. Incredibly sad. "We don't have to do anything," Quinn tells her. "Sometimes, when I'm… overwhelmed, I guess, I just come and sit on that bench over there and just let the world happen around me. It's - it's nice to - I guess it's nice to forget."

Rachel doesn't say anything for the longest time, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. "What if I don't want to forget?" she asks, so softly that Quinn barely hears her. "They - they're having this memorial thing in Glee today. For Finn. It's - Mercedes said something about sending him off and working on moving on, and I - what if I just _can't_ sweep it all away the way everyone else seems to be able to?"

Quinn breathes deeply, and then very carefully reaches over to cover Rachel's restless fingers with one of her hands. It's the first time she's actually touched her, and Quinn does her best not to think too hard about the jolt of electricity that flows through her. "I - I think grief is different for everyone," she says slowly, her heart rate rising at the sound of her own words. "Nobody can expect you to deal with it the way they are, and vice versa." Quinn drops her gaze to their hands. "It manifests how it's supposed to, and it lasts as long as it does."

When Rachel looks at her, there's something different in her gaze. "Is - is _this_ the manifestation of grief?" she asks.

Quinn frowns. "What?"

Rachel's eyes drop over Quinn's body, taking in the fish-net stockings, ridiculously short skirt, white tank top, leather waistcoat, numerous chains and piercings, and her pink hair, topped by a woollen beanie. " _You_."

Quinn takes her hand back, frowning. "We're not talking about me," she says, looking away.

"Well, we're not talking about me, either."

Quinn's jaw clenches. Neither of them says anything for the longest time, both their gazes fixed forward as they take in the scenes playing out in front of them. Quinn doesn't relax; not even when Rachel reaches for her fidgeting hands this time.

"Who did you lose?" Rachel asks, and Quinn thinks that's an insensitive question to ask, though she doesn't say so.

Instead, her mouth opens and the words, "My daughter," come out.

Rachel stiffens.

Quinn closes her eyes. "She's - she's not dead," she adds, quiet and sombre. "She's just - I gave her up. She's gone. Not mine."

"I didn't know."

"Nobody does," Quinn says, keeping her eyes closed. "I moved here after she was born. Couldn't stand the looks, changed my appearance, made the changes to make sure nothing like that ever happens to me again."

"Like what?"

"Loving someone so much, it breaks you into pieces to lose them."

Rachel squeezes Quinn's fingers. "Are you still putting them together?"

"Doesn't matter," Quinn dismisses, finally reopening her eyes. "I'm missing pieces that she'll always have. I'll never be complete again."

Rachel blinks. "You know, people keep saying things to me about how I'm probably feeling, but those words make the most sense to me," she says. "It's like something is missing, and I'm never going to get it back."

"Would you even want it back?" Quinn asks, and this question is heavy with meaning. "Or, is it enough that you know that pieces of yourself will forever be with him?"

Rachel's silence is answer enough.

* * *

On Monday morning, Rachel hands Quinn her phone and says, "Number please?"

Quinn raises her eyebrows in question. "I've been bugging you for your number for five hundred years now, and now you're asking for mine?"

Rachel just shrugs, turning her attention to her locker. "I wanted to text you over the weekend, and I couldn't."

Quinn's heart rate rises without her consent, and she does her best not to react so visibly to something said so offhandedly. "Uh, what did you want to text me about?"

"I wanted to tell you that Principal Figgins sent an email to my parents," she explains, and Quinn does her best to hide her disappointment that it wasn't just that Rachel wanted to talk to her.

"Oh?"

"Mentioned how much better I'm doing," Rachel says, actually rolling her eyes. "Mentioned you."

Quinn blinks. "Why?"

"Apparently, word has reached even our lofty teachers that we're an item."

Quinn groans, mentally cursing Kelly and her stupid joke. "Oh, my God."

Rachel giggles. "My parents want to meet you."

"What?" Quinn squeaks. "Why?"

"They think I'm your girlfriend," Rachel says, her voice lilting in a way that tells Quinn she's being an idiot.

"But..." Quinn tries; "didn't you explain that you're not, technically?"

"I'm not?"

Quinn frowns. "I'm very confused right now."

Rachel just smiles at her, eyes visibly amused. "So... when are you free?"

"What?"

"For dinner?"

"Rachel," Quinn says. "Are you being serious?"

Rachel's smile slips. "Not that your ego needs inflating or anything, but the idea of you makes them worry about me less," she says. "They've been so - I don't know. I just - it's easier to be around them, or for them to be around me if we're talking about you."

"I am still very confused."

"Just say yes."

Quinn doesn't say anything. Just nods her head in acceptance and watches as Rachel's smile returns in full force.

"You're the best girlfriend a girl could ask for."

Quinn huffs our a breath, forcing herself not to blush, because those are words she's never heard before, and she's quite certain nobody would believe them. "I missed one day," she grumbles, mostly to herself. "One skipped day, and this is what I get."

Rachel pats her cheek, smile widening impossibly. "You're cute," she says, and Quinn won't admit that the light in Rachel's eyes is maybe worth all of it.

* * *

Quinn wears a dress.

It's from the back of her closet, saved from _before_ , and it's actually one of her favourites. It's white, which doesn't clash too badly with her pink hair, and she pairs it with her leather boots and leather jacket.

Which, in hindsight, might be insensitive to wear to a house of vegans.

Quinn doesn't mention the dinner to any of her friends, certain she'll be teased to within an inch of her life. Kelly has held onto the joke, mentioning it in passing, though Quinn wonders if she regrets it now. Giving Quinn a fake girlfriend has made it impossible for them to progress to anything of significance.

Quinn, weirdly, doesn't mind, but she gets the feeling Kelly does.

Well.

There's nothing Quinn can do about it now, and she doesn't want to.

What she is doing is showing up at Rachel's house right on time, feeling more nervous than she's ever felt before. She's met one set of parents since her move to Lima, and that didn't go too well for her.

Quinn just isn't girlfriend material. She's been told that enough times by the girls she's called the same title. Her friends, too. It's difficult not to start believing it, as well.

Rachel isn't even her real girlfriend, and Quinn is still anxious. Parents make her nervous. Even her own.

Quinn takes a deep, deep breath, and then rings the doorbell. She waits barely ten seconds before the door is pulled open and Rachel comes stumbling out. Her eyes are puffy and red, mouth twisted into a bit of a frown, and her sudden appearance forces Quinn to step back, her own eyes wide.

"You came," Rachel says, closing the door behind her and leaning against it.

Quinn's brow creases. "Uh, was I not supposed to?" she asks, suddenly feeling as if she's grossly misstepped and misunderstood.

"I didn't think you would."

It shouldn't hurt, but it does. Rachel doesn't even know her, and -

"I'm glad you did," Rachel continues, maybe noticing the way Quinn's face falls. "I think you're wearing me down."

"Huh?"

Rachel smiles softly. "I haven't told my parents much," she confesses.

"They do know I'm a girl, right?"

Rachel's smile widens. "They do."

"And they're okay with it?"

"More than."

"Oh," Quinn says. "Okay."

Rachel studies her closely, taking in her outfit. "You look nice," she says. "I don't think I've ever seen you wear a dress before."

Quinn shrugs. "It's something out of the old Quinn's closet," she explains. "Thought I'd join forces to meet your parents. I'm probably going to need all the help I can get."

"I think they're going to like you," Rachel tells her, anyway.

"Why do you say that?" Quinn asks, curious.

"Because _I_ do."

Quinn's traitorous heart threatens to beat right out of her chest.

* * *

Rachel is not a liar, Quinn has come to learn.

She just doesn't lie.

Not to Quinn, at least.

Because Rachel's parents do end up liking her, and Quinn is, once again, left to wonder if she knows anything about Rachel at all.

* * *

Thursday, during lunch, Quinn receives a text from Rachel, asking to meet her in the auditorium. The fact she immediately starts packing her things to leave isn't lost on her, but she's ignoring whatever truth that may or may not reveal.

Jade stops speaking when she notices Quinn's impending departure, looking about as confused as the rest of them - Quinn included.

"Where are you off to?" Stella asks, frowning slightly.

See.

The thing is that Quinn _is_ a liar. It's in her bones; a very part of her being, designed to keep her safe and protected by giving people as little power to hurt her.

"I forgot about a problem set I haven't finished," Quinn lies, carefully avoiding any talk of Rachel. "My mom's really been riding my ass these past few weeks."

The Mack laughs, which seems to help the situation. "So, not only did you end up with a girlfriend for ditching, but also an actual parent. Just your luck, huh?"

Quinn won't admit that she does count herself pretty lucky these days. She just gets to her feet and disappears from the cafeteria before Kelly can voice whatever thought is so obviously on display on her face.

* * *

"Can you play an instrument?" is the first thing Rachel says when Quinn arrives onstage.

Quinn doesn't immediately respond, slightly caught off guard by just how pretty Rachel looks in this moment. She's just sitting at the piano, hands resting in her lap, looking totally adorable in her sweater and skirt combo. Her face is free of makeup, expression open and a little expectant.

Quinn finds herself nodding. "I can, yeah," she says.

"Which one?"

"Piano, mainly," she says. "And guitar, acoustic and electric. Bass, sort of. A little bit of drums." She pauses. "The triangle."

Rachel stares at her for a long moment, before her face splits into a smile. "So many talents," she says. "Think I can borrow some?"

Quinn nods again, giving in almost too easily. "What are we doing?"

"I'm performing a song for Finn."

Quinn knows she has nothing to be jealous of. It makes no sense. The boy is gone, and Quinn doesn't care about Rachel that way. It - it's not even -

Quinn shakes her head, trying to clear it of her dangerous thoughts. It's nothing. Everything is fine. "What song is it?" she asks, drawing heavily on her skills of compartmentalisation.

" _Make You Feel My Love_ ," Rachel answers easily, and Quinn feels whatever hidden hope she's feeling die in her heart.

* * *

"You like her," Kelly accuses over the weekend, when they're all supposed to be having a good time at the skate park, forgetting their schoolwork and home lives for a few precious hours.

Quinn, admittedly, is miles away, and the sound of Kelly's words bring her right back. "What?"

"You actually like her," Kelly says. "I can't believe this."

"What are you talking about?"

"No," Kelly hotly says, finger pointing at Quinn's face, as if Quinn has somehow personally offended her. "You don't get to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not an idiot."

Quinn doesn't say anything in response.

"But you obviously are," Kelly says with a scoff. "Her _boyfriend_ just died, Quinn. What are you even doing?"

Quinn doesn't mention that Finn probably wasn't actually Rachel's boyfriend - not that it matters, given the way Rachel obviously felt about him - and she definitely doesn't deny whatever she might be feeling.

Maybe it's her silence, because Kelly calms quite suddenly, her expression shifting to something resembling pity. "Oh, Quinn," she breathes. "What _are_ you doing?"

And, really, Quinn has no idea.

* * *

What she does know is it's not fair to Rachel, and Quinn tells herself that, though she may not be girlfriend material, she's a pretty decent fake one.

She can at least be that much to Rachel. To be better, and try to be what Rachel needs, rather than what Quinn may or may not have just realised she wants.

* * *

Which is why, on Monday morning, Quinn makes sure to arrive late enough that she won't be tempted to seek out Rachel.

As much as she wants to.

She just needs a day, maybe two, to get her head sorted out. To figure out exactly what she's doing, and figure out some way to stop.

She's unaware she should really be more focused on her heart.

* * *

It happens during Math.

Quinn has grown somewhat attuned to Rachel over the last few weeks, but she's a little preoccupied with plotting out a hyperbola, and she misses the oncoming signs of distress.

Before she knows it, Rachel is making a choked sound, scraping back her chair and then bolting from the classroom without saying a word. Her departure is followed by a long, surprised silence, before every eye abruptly turns to her, sudden murmuring erupting around her.

For a moment, she frowns in confusion, before she remembers that she's supposed to go after Rachel, because she's supposed to be the brunette's girlfriend.

Right.

Okay.

Her eyes dart to their teacher, who makes a gesture with her hands that Quinn uses as permission to get up, as well.

It's only once she's out in the corridor that she panics, because she has no idea where to start looking for Rachel. She thinks she should start paying more attention to the places Rachel feels the most safe.

With a little sigh, she begins her search, peeking into empty classrooms and bathrooms as she roams the corridors. She finds a girl who she thinks is maybe one of Rachel's friends in one of the art studios, but she claims she hasn't seen Rachel since the day before.

"Try the bathrooms behind the auditorium," she suggests, though, and Quinn didn't even know there were bathrooms behind the auditorium.

"Thanks," she mutters, and then starts to go, only for the girl to say something else.

"You've - you've really helped, you know," she says, and Quinn really wishes she knew her name. "It's really been hard, for all of us, but especially her," the girl reveals. "But, the last few weeks, she talks about you, smiles a little more. I just - I don't know if you know what you've done for her, so I just - I mean, we're all still a little sceptical, because you're kind of scary, but she's - " she stops. "I guess I'm trying to say thank you."

Quinn blinks, caught off guard. "Oh."

"Please don't hurt her," the girl says, and Quinn wonders how she ever found herself in this position.

She's been given power she wasn't even sure she wanted.

* * *

Rachel is in the girls' bathroom behind the auditorium.

Quinn hears her before she sees her, sitting on a closed toilet in one of the open stalls. She's sobbing uncontrollably, face buried in her hands and shoulders shaking.

Quinn freezes when she sees her, unsure what to say or do. They haven't spoken in a few days, Quinn attempting to get a hold of her feelings before she ends up saying or doing something she'll come to regret.

Rachel lets out a particularly painful sob, and Quinn springs into action. She stalks forward and moves onto her haunches right in front of Rachel, her hands resting on the girl's knees, which just about startles her right out of her clothing.

"Quinn," Rachel practically shrieks. "God, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Honey," Quinn murmurs. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Rachel drops her gaze to Quinn's hands on her knees. "Why have you been avoiding me?" she asks, bypassing Quinn's returned question.

Quinn doesn't know how to respond, so she goes with the truth. "I'm not a good girlfriend."

Rachel frowns. "Who told you that?"

"Everyone I've ever dated."

"You do all right."

Quinn manages a smile. "Why are you crying?" she asks, soft and sincere.

"Please don't tell my Dad," she says, in lieu of an answer. "He thinks I'm doing so well. They both do. I just - I was thinking about y - " she stops, eyes a little wide. "I guess I've just been thinking about a lot of things _but_ him, and then I suddenly just did, and it's been so long, and what if - what if I forget him?"

Quinn breathes out slowly, determined not to make a mess of this as she thinks of the right words. "You're not going to forget him," she assures her. "Even if you manage to move on and some of your memories get a little hazy, the most important part is to remember that, so long as he has pieces of you, then you have some of him, too."

Rachel watches her for a long moment, eyes taking in her features. Rachel must see something, because her own expression softens. "Can I give you some?"

Quinn blinks. "Excuse me?"

Inexplicably, Rachel is actually blushing, and Quinn doesn't know what to make of it. "Can I give you pieces of myself?" she clarifies, her red eyes revealing far more than her mouth is.

"Oh."

"Is that weird?" Rachel rushes to say, sounding a little panicked. "If it's weird, we can forget I even said anything. It's just - I mean, you're - _Quinn_."

"I'm Quinn?" she questions with a smile, trying to buy herself time to make sense of what Rachel is asking of her.

Rachel swats at her arm. "You know what I mean."

Quinn really doesn't, but she still says, "yes."

"Yes?"

"You can give me as many pieces as you want," she tells her. "I promise to do all I can to look after them."

Rachel rests her hands over Quinn's, squeezing gently. "Do you realise what I'm asking?" she questions.

Quinn hums, nodding once. She shifts forward, lifting herself up until she's almost in line with Rachel. "I have my own pieces to offer," she says, quiet and almost as if it's a secret. Quinn doesn't think that counts as much, really, so she takes one of her hands back and reaches into the pocket of her jacket, pulling out an open packet of jelly beans. "And I guess I also have these."

Rachel just stares, a little in disbelief.

"They're vegan," Quinn adds with a tiny grin. "Jelly beans are powerful things. They can fix anything. Did you know that - "

Rachel surges forward and kisses her.

Quinn is so caught off guard that she almost loses her balance and topples right over. But Rachel is now holding onto both her hands, kissing her so sweetly. Thoroughly. Determinedly.

When it ends, Quinn does fall backwards, landing on her ass and staring up at Rachel with wide, confused eyes. "You kissed me," she says dumbly.

Rachel nibbles at her bottom lip, nodding slowly.

"I didn't imagine that?"

Rachel shakes her head now.

"Why?"

Rachel shrugs. "You are very cute," she says. "And, God, the way you pretend not to care, when you so obviously do... I think it's one of my favourite things about you."

"You think I _pretend_ to be an emotional troglodyte?" she questions in disbelief. "Because I'm pretty sure I just have no idea what the fuck I'm doing."

"It is very cute."

Quinn just stares at her, trying and failing to make sense of what's just happened. "You like me," she states, lightly accusing. "You actually like me."

"Don't sound so surprised," Rachel grumbles.

"I am," Quinn tells her. "Half the time, I'm pretty sure you'd like to stake me, and the other half, you want the ground to open up and swallow me whole."

Rachel shakes her head, looking mildly distressed, and then she's sliding off the closed toilet and dropping right into Quinn's lap, straddling her legs and kissing her rather fiercely. "Do you have any idea what you mean to me?" she asks, right against Quinn's lips.

"I'm hoping you'll tell me." Quinn's hands press against the small of Rachel's back, holding her steady, even though her own breathing is erratic.

Rachel kisses her again. "I love jelly beans," she tells Quinn. "I'm also a little terrified of your friends."

Quinn chuckles.

"I'm serious," Rachel says. "I swear one of them once threatened to shank me."

"Probably The Mack," Quinn comments lightly.

"Pink is one of my favourite colours," Rachel says, her fingers running through Quinn's hair. "You smell like apples and you taste like cinnamon."

Quinn has no idea why she blushes, but she does. The two of them are sitting on a bathroom floor - which is probably beyond gross - and Rachel is telling her what she likes about her.

What even.

How did they even get here?

Rachel presses their foreheads together, her breaths slow and even. "Principal Figgins is an idiot," she says; "but putting you with me is the smartest thing he's ever done."

Quinn licks her lips. "I thought you wanted nothing to do with me."

"What makes you think that?"

"Why'd you make me work so hard?"

Rachel plays with the tiny hairs on the back of Quinn's neck. "Do you have any idea how fun it is to watch you _try_ to annoy me?"

Quinn blinks. "You enjoy that?"

"I don't know what part of 'you are very cute' you don't understand," Rachel tells her. "You get this crease in your brow, and you start sounding exasperated when things don't go the way you want."

"And _you_ get huffy," Quinn tells her. "Stomping your foot and looking adorable, and I just - "

"What?"

"I'm not a good girlfriend."

Rachel tilts Quinn's head up, to make sure she's looking at her. "Why do you say that? It's the second time, and I definitely don't appreciate you talking about my fake girlfriend like that."

"Do you know why my friends started this whole joke about us dating?"

Rachel shakes her head, and Quinn can only wonder why Rachel's never actually asked before. "Why?"

"Because the idea of my being some kind of emotional support for anyone is hilarious to them," she explains. "I'm terrible at this."

"Hey," Rachel says. "I told you that you do all right. I haven't felt... unsupported. Beyond the first day, at least, when I thought we agreed it wasn't your problem to make sure I didn't lose it completely."

Quinn blinks. "Huh?"

"Quinn, we've been dating all along," she says. "Even if you haven't actually asked me out." She waits, looking a little expectant. "Which, you know, you can do whenever you want."

Quinn nods slowly, trying to gather her thoughts. "You like me," she says, attempting to make sense of what Rachel is telling her. "Like, me? Me? All of me?"

Rachel nods.

Quinn removes one hand from Rachel's back and reveals the packet of jelly beans once more. "You actually want to be my girlfriend?"

"If you're asking," Rachel says. "I - I know you got pushed into all of this by Principal Figgins, but I want to know if you - "

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Quinn suddenly blurts out.

Rachel laughs softly, briefly pressing her lips to Quinn's. "Yes, Quinn," she says. "I will."

"Even though you know how terrible I am at it?"

Rachel shifts in Quinn's lap. "I think you're different with me."

"Oh?"

Rachel doesn't elaborate, but the both of them are very aware of that unexplained truth at what it means for the possible importance of Rachel in Quinn's life. "Now, can I have a jelly bean?"

"Was that the way to your heart all along?"

"You found your way there all on your own," she says, and Quinn can't stop her stupid, ridiculous smile. "But, still, I would really like a jelly bean now."

* * *

Rachel is the one who suggests they don't go back to class just yet.

Quinn barely lets her finish speaking before she's agreeing. The last time she bunked, she ended up with a fake girlfriend, and it hasn't turned out too badly for her.

And, if Rachel says it's okay, well…

Instead, the two of them take a walk towards the football field, Quinn's arm casually slung over Rachel's shoulders and Rachel's arm around Quinn's waist. Their steps are slow, aimless, and Rachel keeps herself tucked against Quinn, the two of them wanting to be as close as physically possible.

"I think you're going to have to meet my parents again," Rachel says, frowning slightly.

"I'm also going to have to end things with Kelly," Quinn says, her own brow creased. "Or whatever."

"Did you actually like her?" Rachel asks.

"I mean, I _do_ like her," Quinn says. "She's my friend. I think we were just kidding ourselves thinking we could be anything when she expects me to fail at the whole being-together thing, anyway."

"Well, I won't care if you struggle," Rachel says. "I'm no good at relationships either."

Quinn kisses Rachel's temple, letting her lips linger. "We'll figure it out."

"I like the sound of that," Rachel murmurs, voice low. "I like a lot of things, apparently."

Quinn holds out the packet of jelly beans once more, and Rachel takes a few, popping them into her mouth. "Me?" Quinn asks, because she can.

"You."

Quinn holds her just that bit tighter, butterflies erupting in her chest. "We should go on a date."

"We should."

"This weekend?"

Rachel nods her head. "You have my number."

Quinn laughs, allowing herself to feel the happiness bubbling within her. "I do, don't I?"

"You should definitely make use of it."

"Will I have to bring jelly beans?"

Rachel steals a few more of the tiny candies. "Why do you have them on you right now, anyway?" she asks, steering them onto the football field and hearing the squelch of freshly-watered turf beneath their feet.

"I was going to give them to you," Quinn confesses.

"Was this before or after you explained why you've been avoiding me?"

Quinn doesn't immediately respond, contemplating if the truth is the way to go in this situation. It probably is, if she wants this relationship to last. "After," she admits, voice little more than a whisper.

Rachel doesn't say anything in return, clearly waiting patiently.

"I was going to tell you that you deserve someone better than me," Quinn says. "Someone who would be there the way you deserve; someone who wouldn't fail so spectacularly at looking out for you by doing the disastrous thing and actually falling for you."

Rachel sucks in a sharp breath at the sound of Quinn's words.

"I read in one of the school's articles on the football team a while back that jelly beans were Finn's favourite," she says, her voice getting stuck in her throat. "I wanted to apologise to you, and to him, because I - I don't - it shouldn't be me who gets to love and comfort you when I'm so terrible at it. It just - it doesn't seem fair."

Rachel stops walking, and looks at her. "You're not making any sense," she says. "Like, absolutely no sense. What I feel for you - this has nothing to do with - "

Quinn drops her gaze and hangs her head.

"All this time," Rachel murmurs, using her fingers to tilt Quinn's head up. "You've been pretending not to care at all, but it's the complete opposite, isn't it?"

Quinn can barely look at her.

"You care _so much_ ," Rachel concludes. "So, so much, and you're so worried you're going to mess it up somehow. Maybe you even _want_ to, before you end up giving me enough pieces that you get hurt in the process."

"Rachel," Quinn chokes out.

"Well, you're not in luck, I'm afraid," she says. "I'm holding onto these pieces so tightly, you're probably never going to see them again."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Quinn says quietly. "I already know I'm not getting them back."

"Then, what is it?"

"What you do with them, now that you have them," Quinn says, finally meeting Rachel's gaze. "I don't think I could handle losing you, along with them."

"What makes you think that's going to happen?"

"It's what always happens," Quinn murmurs, and she suddenly feels so small, the mask slipping to reveal all the vulnerability behind.

Rachel regards her closely, trying to make sense of this moment and what it could possibly mean for the both of them. "What's her name?" she eventually asks.

Quinn's brow creases. "Whose?"

"Your daughter."

Quinn flinches, because nobody has ever been so casual about the most important person in her life. That's probably because many don't even know she exists, but that is neither here nor there, because Quinn is suddenly certain Rachel is the only one she would be able to talk to about her in this way.

"Beth," Quinn finally tells her. "Elizabeth, really, after Elizabeth Bennet from _Pride and Prejudice_. But she's Beth."

"Do you have a picture of her?" Rachel asks. "I'd love to see her."

Quinn hesitates for a moment, before she detangles herself from Rachel and takes out her phone. She has a special album just for Beth, filled with pictures her adoptive parents have been so good at sending to her throughout the months they've been apart.

Rachel squeals at just how cute Beth is, gushing over her rosy cheeks and button nose that matches Quinn's. "She has your eyes," Rachel breathes, not lifting her gaze from the phone's screen. "She also looks so happy, Quinn."

"She is."

"And, that's something you've given her," Rachel says, handing the phone back. "That's what your pieces have given her."

Quinn takes a deep breath, and then releases it slowly. "Is that what you hope my pieces will give you?" she eventually asks. "Happiness?"

"What makes you think they haven't already?"

Quinn huffs. "Do you ever just answer a question without asking one in return?"

Rachel grins at her. "Would you even want me to?"

Quinn rolls her eyes, stepping right into Rachel's space and draping her arms over her shoulders. "Are you going to answer this one question for me?" she asks. "Please."

Rachel pretends to consider it, wrapping her own arms around Quinn's waist. "What is it?"

Quinn chuckles. "I totally see what you did there," she says softly, and then allows her smile to dim slightly, her expressions growing serious. "It's a very important question, so I need you to take it seriously."

Rachel seems to stiffen at the severity in Quinn's tone.

"Cutie," Quinn says, thoroughly enjoying the flare of Rachel's nostrils; "what is your favourite flavour of jelly bean?"

Rachel opens her mouth, and then closes it, before opening it again. She moves to speak, and then abandons that completely, in favour of kissing the smug smile right off Quinn's lips. "I like the green ones," she eventually says, crowding Quinn's space and looking straight into her eyes.

Quinn narrows her eyes. "Green isn't a flavour, Rachel."

Rachel shrugs, clearly unfazed. "Do _you_ come as a flavour then?"

Quinn is suddenly aware her cheeks must match her hair, and all she can think to say is, "The green ones are probably green apple flavoured." She hums when Rachel nuzzles her jaw. "Or kiwi," she adds in a murmur. "Better yet, it could be margarita." She leans back a little. "Is there something you'd like to tell me, _Sweetie_?"

"Oh, plenty," Rachel muses, but there's a crinkle in her brow that makes Quinn a little nervous. They almost feel as if they're stuck in some kind of limbo, where they still have so much to talk about, but they've already committed to each other.

It makes Quinn anxious, if she's being honest. She knows she won't be able to hide from this girl - not a single thing - and, while that would normally terrify her, there's a part of her that's relieved to be able to show Rachel _all of her_.

"You _do_ think I'm cute, don't you?" Rachel murmurs, allowing them a moment to settle into this new normal.

"The cutest," Quinn immediately tells her. "Like, super duper adorable."

Rachel kisses her, just once. "Did you ever think this day would come?" she asks.

"The day you would bunk with me?" she questions, trying to avoid to what she _knows_ Rachel is alluding. "Because, I should tell you, I have been _very good_ these past few weeks. I've been to every single boring class in this place, and who could have known _you_ would end up the delinquent between the two of us?"

Rachel gives her a very significant look. " _Quinn_."

She immediately deflates. "You already know the answer to that question," she says, just managing to keep the petulance out of her tone of voice. "Doesn't it feel unreal to you?"

Rachel squeezes her shoulders. "You feel pretty real to me."

Quinn can't resist rolling her eyes, because that was just awful. Rachel just grins up at her, looking thoroughly pleased with herself. "How are _you_ , though?" she deflects. "I didn't really ask, but you did kind of run out of Math somewhat unprompted."

Rachel licks her lips. "I haven't thought about him in so long," she admits, explaining a little more clearly than she did earlier. "And then I found this page in my notebook, where he must have found a blank page somewhere in the middle some time ago and written a little note for me to find. It - it just caught up to me, all of a sudden, and I just had to get out of there." She breathes deeply. "Will it always feel like this?"

Quinn doesn't have to think about it when she says, "Yes."

Rachel laughs unexpectedly. Quinn has always been rather blunt when it comes to feeling emotions. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Rachel sighs, her shoulders dropping under some invisible weight.

Quinn just stands perfectly still, allowing Rachel to study her to her heart's content. "What are you thinking about?"

"Would you call me awfully cliché if I tell you I'm thinking that Finn sent you to me?"

Quinn blinks. "Why would he pick _me_?

"Why wouldn't he?"

Quinn closes her mouth, not sure what to say in response.

"I think he chose wisely," Rachel says. "You are exactly what and whom I need."

Quinn's mouth spreads into a bit of a smirk. "Gosh, you should know that correct grammar is such a turn on for me."

Rachel laughs, teeth glinting in the sunlight. "You _like_ me."

Quinn doesn't bother to correct her, because they _both_ know it's more than that.

"You _care_ about me," Rachel adds. "You want to _be_ with me. You want to date me, and be my girlfriend and hold me when I cry and buy me jelly beans and rub it in people's faces that - " she stops. "Well, actually, _I_ want to rub it in people's faces that you're mine."

"That isn't something to brag about, Rachel."

"I beg to differ," Rachel immediately counters. "I'll brag all I want, thank you very much."

Quinn won't try to convince her. Or show her. "You're stuck with me now," she says instead, because Rachel obviously needs the warning.

"Oh, the horrors," Rachel muses. "I want you, and this, and us."

Quinn just grins at her, drawing her into another warm hug. "Whatever you say, Cutie," she murmurs into Rachel's hair.

"I mean it," Rachel reiterates.

"You're stubborn."

"I'm right."

"And persistent."

"I'm also yours."

Quinn's breath catches. "Oh, the horrors," she echoes Rachel's earlier sentiment. The grin she gets in reply is so worth it, and she can't resist another kiss, deepening it immediately.

"May I have another jelly bean?" Rachel asks when they break apart.

Quinn takes the deepest breath, and then makes a point of putting a green bean in her own mouth. She doesn't chew, just holds it there, and then raises her eyebrows in challenge, her eyes clearly saying, _Come and get it_.

Rachel's smile grows, and Quinn decides, in this moment, that she will give her the world, and so much more.

Including all of her own pieces.

* * *

_Fin_


End file.
